Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
