Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
