he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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