He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
did i just pee glitter
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
