Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
