is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
