yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
