hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
