At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
