well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
