This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Mom said you looked used
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
