I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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