and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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