You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
