I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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