I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
