one might say we're banned from that church
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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