I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
