those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just found puke in my bra..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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