he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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