she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
did i just pee glitter
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