everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
