Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
