Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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