fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
