But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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