It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
