you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pants are for mortals
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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