Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
