Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
