I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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