I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
