I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
