do herpes really smell.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
