oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
