WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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