she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
