i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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