So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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