OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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