Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
