Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
