no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Randomize
