My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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