ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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