I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
