Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
