you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
