I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
