Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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